The deed...is done

Hello all, apologies for not updating sooner, but really I have not felt the urge to write, nor inspiration to do as such.

I write to you now under some intense emotion, as I have just left my college. Why, you may ask, would you leave the University of Delaware? It is a fine school indeed, but I feel (and deep down in my heart I know) that it is simply not the place for me. The effects were felt, as it were, through the entire atmosphere, for when I was walking to the office to obtain withdrawing papers, a large and ominous storm was brewing, and is now raging outside my window. I feel that the same is happening inside me, and while I am sad to be leaving the University, it is what I must do.

I have a confession to make, while I have been here, my character has slowly been changing. In some ways this is a good and expected side effect of going off to a new college, to learn to be independent and to get an education. Well, along with these fine attributes, I found myself slipping up more, engaging in not so healthy, yet accepted, activities. I found myself slowly going under the current, as opposed to fighting it, as I should have been doing. If I found the strength in me to fight it and survive scarred but not broken, I would have stayed here. However, I found myself being worn down to a smooth pebble in the river, instead of a jagged rock of change. Rather than changing my environment, the environment changed me. It was as if my personality was being drained, and replaced with the genericness of college.

I found this trend to be alarming my first year, but foolishly did not take more steps to combat it. Over the summer I slowly regained my old self and values back, and this time when i returned I was determined to not let the same happen to me again. The intense sadness and depression of letting myself go as I did was a feeling I could not stand to feel again. However, slowly but surely in this first week, the feeling started creeping up on me. Now, as an extreme countermeasure, I have decided to leave the University. Once again, this is no fault of the University, but rather a simple difference of philosophy. I never really felt like I fit into the definition of a U of DE student, but I felt perhaps I could get there in my own unique way. Not so, as I have found.

Being surrounded by so many people, yet feeling the loneliest that I ever had really had worn me down. I tried to fit in last year to no avail, and I see that this year would have been more of the same. I do not fit into any one genre of human, as it may be called. I am not a frat boy, nor do I think like one. I do some things which perhaps would be related to stoners or nerds, yet I am neither. The lack of people that think like me up on this campus was ultimately my undoing, and trying to fit in with several groups was going nowhere. My natural introversion was of no assistance here.

To my friends on campus, this is of no relation to you, and I thank you for hanging out with me and being there for me when I needed it.

There are many changes going on right now, but I feel like in the end, this is the decision that I had to make.

Mr. Revell

Food For Thought

Greetings to all you out there from under the brim of an amazing Bill Lee trucker hat!

I find it amazing how much variation there truly is in the human experience. I personally had one of the best weekends of my entire life (I know you are just dying to know what I'm talking about here, but I'm under an oath of silence), whereas people all over the world are possibly having the worse weekend of their entire life.

For example, in a sad turn of events, a Mountaire Truck went over the side of the Bay Bridge Tunnel. I cannot wish such a hurt on any family, even those of my worse enemy, let alone a random family. At the same time i was on top of the world to the soundtrack of guitars and light percussion, another family was stricken with grief over the loss of a father, brother and husband. With so many billions in the world there are billions more storylines every day.

I almost feel like I am negligent in making myself caring about other people, and their own stories and problems and the like. I like to feel like I have enough on my plate already, and don't really have time to mess with other peoples lives.

More on this...later...

On break from Heaven

Greetings to all of you fine folks again, Mr. Revell reporting.

Perhaps you on wondering why on earth one would want to take a break from Heaven, since it is indeed after all perfect and the fulfillment of everything I could possibly want in this world. Really, I would normally agree with you, but when one has a five dolla footlong waiting all alone in the refrigerator, sometimes Heaven just has to wait.

My lunch hour is rather short, especially when compared to the 8 hours of the day spent behind the counter.

Until next time

Ah, the wonders of Blogging

Greetings everyone, I am Mr. Revell, otherwise known to my friends simply as Revell, or perhaps Josh, depending on when they met me. I am from the little town of Millsboro in glorious Lower Sussex County Delaware. Incidentally, I like to refer to this little wonder of ground as God's Own Country (GoC), where there are high tides and green grass forever into the horizon.

Though I hearken from GoC, and live and work there during non school periods of the year, I must make the immigration to the north for the winter, to Newark, Delaware, where I attend the University of Delaware (see any patterns here?). I am, regrettably, a Business Management major at the present time (more on this later).

I work at a lumber yard in GoC, Sussex Lumber (original, I know), or as some tend to refer to it, simply Heaven. It is indeed glorious, with its splendor well hidden behind dusty floors and several very un-straight Salt Treated boards sitting in the yard, to which many complaints have been leveled as of late. Sussex Lumber (Heaven from here on out) is really summed up in the attitudes swirling in the revered isles, as opposed to the variety of odds and ends that settle there. I have had many life view changing expiriences in this hallowed place, some rather positive and others not so much. My seven years there have indeed perhaps had a little dabbling in how I have turned out, which is why this place deserves a paragraph in my first come back blog.

In my spare time I like to waste my own time on a little game called World of Warcraft, where I possess several characters (for specifics, drop me a line). Otherwise, I am rather dull. I don't tend to go out to parties, since I have had run ins with the police at such, and I don't tend to hang out with folks a whole lot (perhaps due to having to report to Heaven the next day, or a particularly gripping night of WoW).

But back to the question at hand, Why are you doing this Mr. Revell? To answer such a question, which no doubt is dancing around in the lovely little ballroom between your ears, I feel as if the period of time which I have survived to requires me to write. I feel the need to write, almost like I have a sworn duty to inform the uninformed of my issues in life (which I have many), and perhaps shed a different light on other issues that the other sources of information you may have attempt to persuade you a different way. Perhaps I am just writing this out of a megalomaniac sense in my own delusions of power, and putting my ideas out there, but bear with me. I have been confined to page after page of preset answers to preset and precise questions all year, and those at the lumber yard at which I work do not want me to ramble on in their ears.

With that, I leave you fine folks, to enjoy the rest of your day. More fun to be had later, no doubt, when I have more time to think and compose my thoughts on what I would like to lecture my audiences with.